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like even if I try to write porn or something, if the characters say anything like, emotional to each other I’m like “wait be careful they could use that against you later”

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"I hope that wasn’t the best sex you ever had, me whoring myself while you ignore me and watch a russell crowe film" I was reminiscing w/ dd about our doomed relationship

it turns out being a dom and/or how I have sex is still not something I have to feel guilty about or have to feel like what happened is my fault. for real okay. because it really gets to me, I start feeling guilty about consensual stuff I did to someone who was abusive and it’s like why am I feeling guilty for that.

I’m going to get better

I’m going to have good sex and it’s not going to trigger me or make me uneasy

I have complete faith about that

I’m going to try and write a (hopefully brief & succinct) post about:

*what is wrong with me sexually

*what I need and/or like

*what I should do about it??

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I don’t like that I’m ever going to have to think about my ex again

it’s also true that sometimes I don’t know if I was crazy before, what would have upset me before

I do know I don’t want to fuck anyone ever again, except maybe the DD, but I know I don’t want to top anyone again, and that sucks because I’m a top, but I just don’t want to hurt anyone

you guys I was just thinking about american horror story

SPOILERS for ahs asylum, also content warnings behind the read more

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I don’t understand porn where people have like soda cans and phones in their orifices! why??